I Am: Skeptical About Love

I am...


Skeptical About Love.






What does this mean - being skeptical about love?

Simply put: Unlike most people, I feel that I am aware of the difference between infatuation and love.

Note: In this post, I am strictly referring to romantic love, and not love of any other kind such as familial love.

So, what is the difference between infatuation and love?

Well, the dictionary definition of infatuation is: "To inspire or possess with a foolish or unreasoning passion, as of love."

If you're like me, that definition means nothing to you. In fact, it's rather insulting. Who are you calling foolish and unreasoning?!

So, now we see the wisdom of defining infatuation by differentiating it from love:

-- Infatuation is that stage when the person you are with seems to have no flaws whatsoever. Or, if he has flaws, they are minor ones like "He doesn't wear socks with his loafers. How odd." Love, on the other hand, realizes the imperfections of the other and it looks past those weaknesses. Therefore, when you love a person, you realize their flaws number into the plural but you love them anyway.

-- Infatuation is selfish. When you are infatuated, you cannot stop thinking about how happy that person makes you, how great you feel when you are with that person, etc. However, when you love someone, you are selfless. You wonder how you can make them happy, how to make them feel great.

-- Infatuation makes you lack self-control. You feel like you need to be with that person all the time, and unless you're intimate with that person, you're not satisfied. Love includes expressions of intimacy, but unlike infatuation, love is not dependent on these expressions of intimacy. Moreover, when you love someone, you are willing to wait for them - no matter how long the two of you are apart from each other.

-- When you are infatuated, there are rarely any "serious" discussions. In fact, most disagreements are settled with a kiss. However, in love, "serious" discussions are plentiful - you talk about everything and anything. And when you don't agree, you aren't afraid to share your opinions and to work through it together.

-- In infatuation, everything seems to be perfect and comes with ease. However, love requires real effort and time. As a result, it's not always blooming roses - in that moment anyway.

-- Infatuation is temporary. Love is permanent. Yes, the greatest difference between the two is that infatuation flees at the slightest difficulty but love endures all things. Infatuation is for today, but love is forever.

Do you realize the difference? If you are with someone right now, can you honestly say you are in love - or are you infatuated? More importantly: Are you willing to put in the time, effort, and self-sacrifice that love requires?

If you answered yes to all of the above questions, then you are different, just like me. Let's celebrate. [Raises her water bottle.] TO LOVE!